Monday, June 13, 2005

hey buddy, they're not dentures!

in all the mothering and pregnancy books, they show these idyllic photos of mothers nursing their infants. they're staring into each other's eyes, the baby cradled in the mom's arms, and it looks like about the most peaceful thing you could ever imagine.

may i present an alternate scene:

it starts off fine: we're sitting on the bed, in the blessed, blessed air-conditioning, i'm leaning on some pillows and he's sprawled across my lap. however. he likes to take his little baby claw and put it in my mouth, which is okay and actually kind of sweet until he grabs on to my lower front teeth and tries to rip them out of my skull. run your tongue along the tender gum area below the back of your front bottom teeth. now imagine someone digging their nails into that area. (now imagine how hard it is to resist the impulse to bite down with your top teeth and nip those little sausage fingers right off....)

oh and meanwhile he's trying to drill a hole in my upper arm using his big toe.

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