Friday, September 22, 2006

a tale of three kitties

this is our new houseguest:


i call her "hissy".

she has a slightly inflated sense of self....

okay, to start at the beginning:

last week, mona took in these two little hooligans:


she found them outside the elderly housing complex on her block, a notorious flophouse for stray cats. the mama was still in the picture—mona had even seen them nursing one day—but these kittens were clearly on the fast track to feralville. so even though she had reservations about dragging them away from their mama and her milk too early (always an especially touchy subject for us nursing moms), she scooped them up. she took in black kitty (they're still working on names) first, thought about giving him away, decided to keep him, decided that if she was going to take in kitties she'd rather have two, and went back for stripey. the two of them are crazy, spazzy, adorable, noisy, lovey, and okay with wile and gwen picking them up. stripey likes to climb up the leg of your pants when she wants your attention. they sleep on top of each other then wake up and play kitty death match. they are the perfect kittens.

yesterday we—me, wile, mona, and gwen—were walking past the elderly housing complex and saw hissy. she was wedged in between the glass and the exterior gate of a basement-level window, and she looked....well, we couldn't decide. was she stuck? was she sleeping? it looked like she was just sleeping, but.....maybe not? we decided she was okay and left. this morning we were walking by again (the e.h.c. is on our route to the park) and there was hissy, still all jammed up between the window and the gate. hmmm.

"if she was stuck," mona said, "she'd be crying, right?"

and right on cue, hissy started mewing.

so she went in to the complex and tried to extract hissy, who just wedged herself in furthur. we decided that there really was plenty of room between the window and the gate and that she could get out if she wanted to, and that we'd check on her on our way home from the park. when we made our way back...there was hissy. still outside, 24 hours later. and evenif she could get out, where would she go? out on the sidewalk? i went in this time, and managed, after some fancy maneuvering, to extract her. as i pulled her out, i saw her mama inside the window, which was shut tight.

we stood around deliberating for a couple minutes, then saw a resident of the e.h.c. going in through the main gate and asked him if he could get a maintenance man to come open the window and let the poor baby in to her mama. he seemed sympathetic and told us he'd take care of it. a couple minutes later a maintenance man comes out, we ask him if he can help us, and he says "oh, that's the super's window. those are his cats. he's trying to get rid of the kittens, he's got like 7 cats in there." he's trying to get rid of them by...locking them outside? grrrrr......

then out comes the resident we spoke with, another resident, and the super. we ask the super if this is his kitten. he says yes. we ask if he knew that she was outside, separated from her mother. he said that they go in and out all the time. "yeah," i say, "but it's hard to go in a closed window. can you open it so she can get to her mother?" he tells us again that they "go in and out all the time", which i took to mean "i'm not opening the window, why don't you nosy white women leave me alone." then the other resident starts talking about how they have so many cats living in the complex, cats cats everywhere, always kittens all over the place.... to which mona replies, "well, why don't you get them fixed? there are places that will help you do it." none of them appear to hear her. we end up asking the super again if he really plans on just leaving the kitten out on the streets, and he asks if we want it. we say no, we want it to get back to its mother. he says the kitten's fine and can get in to her mother anytime. we look at the closed window that no kitten i've ever met could get open. we tell him we're taking the kitten. the men all walk away, and we can hear the super saying "...don't know what they're so fucking worried about..." oh, i know. we're just overreacting. i'm sure she'd have a great life on the streets.

and so here i am, with hissy sleeping in my lap.

i still don't know if we're keeping her. she's definitely warming up to me, but not so much to trucky and lulu. she's met both of them, and had the same reaction both times: hissing and yowling and puffing up, like she's some big ol' tom cat who's going to take them down to chinatown. trucky and lulu, contrary to all of my expectations, are fairly chill—more than anything, they look really confused that this little piece of fluff is stepping up to them.

and even if they all get along, we really don't need three cats.

on the other hand, there's this:

hissy: mew! mew! mew!

me: the kitty is sad because she's just a baby, and she's not with her mama.

wile: kitty miss kitty mama?

me: yep, she misses her mama.

wile: [after a little deliberation] wile share mama kitty?

if wile wants to share me with this baby kitty, who am i to say no?

Thursday, September 21, 2006

it's all in how you look at it

while he hasn't started throwing big drama-queen tantrums, or hitting, or any of the other "two" behaviors, wile is getting a little bossy. okay, fine, he's always been a little bossy. but now he is extremely verbal and specific in his bossiness. with most of his commands, you can easily understand the reasoning behind them:

"mama! stop comb wile's hair!"
(the hair combing really isn't much fun)

"mama, sit righ dere and dig, big geen shuyul."
(those rocks aren't going to move themselves!)

but sometimes he seems like he's just abusing his power:

"mama, no put hand dada's seat!"

"dada, put fork down, plate."

when he tosses out one of these more arbitrary directives, stephen sometimes asks why he asks us to do—or not do—such random stuff.

and my answer is this: to wile, "don't hit the walls with your bat" and "don't throw your food on the ground" and "yes, you have to wear pants" probably seem lik we're just pulling shit out of our asses.... i mean, really, pants? like, every day.....??

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Friday, September 15, 2006

pillow talk

last night, one a.m.

on my way to bed, hear wile crying. give him five minutes, decide to go in.

w: ba-boo?

m: no baby, it's time to sleep.

w: ba-boo?

m: lie down and go back to sleep.

w: ba-boo?

m: no ba-boo.

w: ba-boooooooooo

m: wile?

w: aye?

m: listen to me.

w: aye.

m: it's not time for ba-boo.

w: aye.

m: it's time to sleep.

w: aye.

m: okay?

w: aye.

m: i'll lie down with you, but you have to go to sleep.

w: aye.

m: okay. [lying down]

w: ba-boo?

m: okay, i'm going. [getting up and going]

w: maaaa-maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! [repeat at constant pitch (homicidal) and volume (turned up to 11) for about 5 minutes]

m: [going back in] wile.

w: mama yie down?

m: okay, but we're just going to sleep.

w: watey?

m: you want water?

w: aye.

m: okay. [go to bathroom, fill cup, return] here you go.

w: [guzzles water] done.

m: okay, let's go to sleep.

w: aye. [lies down. all seems well.]

just as i'm drifting off i hear

w: no big cup, mets cup

m: mmmm-hmmmm.....

w: no big cup, mets cup!

m: mmmmmm

w: mama, det mets cup! mama—wile—mama—wile—wile mets cup watey!

m: [sitting up] wha?

w: [now crying at full force] mama det wile watey mets cup! no big cup!

m: no.

w: no big cup!

m: wile, i'm not getting you a different cup.

w: mama, nice, please, wile mets cup?

m: no.

w: wile cup!

m: wile, i'm not getting you a different cup. i'm going back to sleep. [lying down]

w: mama!

m: wile.

w: get...wile...get...mets...watey...

m: wile, it's time to sleep.

w: [thinks about it, heaves huge sigh, lies down] mama yie right dere.

m: i am, i'm lying right next to you.

w: no, mama yie right dere.

m: i'm right here, wile.

w: no, mama! mama yie right dere! [points at spot a half-inch from where i'm lying]

m: okay. [nudges over]

w: no, mama! mama yie right dere!" [points at spot a quarter-inch from where i'm now lying]

m: okay. [nudge, nudge]

w: no, mama! mama yie right dere!" [points at spot an eighth of an inch from where i'm now lying]

m: okay. [nudge, nudge]

w: no, mama! mama yie right dere!" [points at spot an eighth of an inch from where i'm now lying]

m: wile?

w: aye?

m: i'm right there. i am.

w: aye.

m: i'm going to sleep now.

w: aye.

silence for about two minutes........

w: mama!

m: huh! wha!

w: watey?

m: yeah. [get the much blasphemed big cup, hand to wile]

w: [guzzle] done. [hands back cup. lies down. falls asleep.]

really, it's not so different from a lot of conversations i've had in the middle of the college...after a night out at the bar....

Thursday, September 07, 2006

5 big ones

this year was anniversary #5, so stephen and i wanted to do something special. we thought perhaps per se? or maybe wd-50? after much deliberation, we decided on....

allentown fair

the allentown fair!

it had it all, really.

first, there was the fine dining. we began with:

allentown fair
(eaten too quickly to get a photo of the actual item...)

and washed it down with:

allentown fair

then we started searching for our main course. first we saw this:

allentown fair

but it just gave us bad flashbacks, so we moved on.

and oh were we glad that we did. becasue we found this:

allentown fair

where we got this:

allentown fair

mmmm-hmm. in trying to sell us the ribs, mr. pigg told us that his ribs "aren't like what you'll get at applebee's or chili's". and while i'm not qualified to verify that statement, i can say that they were porcine perfection. he dry-rubs them with a spice mix and smokes them over an applewood fire, spritzing them occasionally with apple juice, which gives them a nice glaze. and his sauce was perfect—tangy and vinegary, not too sweet and not at all smoky.

and for dessert?

allentown fair

which are little mini fried dough pieces tossed with powdered sugar, which leave you (or at least, me) looking like this:

allentown fair

of course, the fair had more to offer than food. there was shopping:

allentown fair

allentown fair

allentown fair

and attractions? oh, were there attractions....

allentown fair
personally, i would have preferred if the woman was normal-sized and had a ginormous cat, but that 's just me....

allentown fair
bilingual freak show!

allentown fair
and where there's the smallest horse, there's also, of course....

allentown fair
taller than bigfoot!

we rode the ferris wheel, where there is
allentown fair
why? are they afraid of people choking? or, possibly more likely, spitting it down on to innocent bystanders?

and, last but not least:

allentown fair

all that, plus:

allentown fair
children on leashes.

and then, why, look who we ran in to!

allentown fair
hi gener! hi deaner!

oh, and look! it's....

allentown fair
WAYNE!!! hi wayne!!!

allentown fair

allentown fair


and then we went home. the end!

Sunday, September 03, 2006

it's official

my status as a project runway fan can be upgraded to "obsessed": i dreamt that i was on the show.

perhaps this is because i spent the evening re-watching last week's episiode and then reading this. and this. oh and this. and this!

i have a little bit of a history of this.... example: i didn't start watching buffy until it was in it's sixth season and they were showing reruns on fx. they showed two episodes, back to back, from 6 to 8 every night. i left work at 5:15 every night for three months and didn't miss an episode.

so, if you didn't already know this about me, now you do: when i get into something, i kind of zero in on it. much like a bloodhound. or a junkie.

no wonder i scared so many boys in high school/college....