Tuesday, December 12, 2006

i need a nap

"wile, do you want some lip stuff?"


"here you go."

"no! not dat kind! otha kind!"

"why don't you just have this kind, i already have it open..."

"no, not want that kind [cups hands together], want that kind [hits edges of palms together]!"

"i...don't know what kind that is. would you like cherry?"


"okay. [procure cherry lip gloss.] here you go."



"want rose!"

"oh, you mean the kind i originally offerd you?"


"here you go."


"okay, no lip stuff."

[we make it ten feet down the sidewalk.]

"mama, want cheeeeese."

"i don't have any cheese."

"want cheese!"

"wile, i don't have any, how about--"

"please, mama, wile want cheese."

"that was very nice, but i still don't have any. here, have some apples."


[silence. sound of apples beign eaten.]



"dere's one apple on dis apple!"


"dere's one apple on dis apple, right here!"

"there's a piece of apple...on your apple?"

"no, one!"

"oh.... okay."

Sunday, December 03, 2006

close encounter

dear alien being who has apparently taken over wile's body,

it took me a little while to realize that my child had been possessed, or subsumed, or whatever it is you aliens call it when you enter a host body and start controlling it. but then we went out to lunch the other day, remember? and "wile" started eating the tofu out of my salad? tofu! and then he (you, whatever) asked to eat some of the "leaves". as in, the salad. the green salad. wile. the child who made his father dissect a piece of pizza to remove a microscopic shred of basil that was lurking below the cheese and ruining his entire dining experience. the child who thrusts his dumpling filling into my face and demands that i "take off!" the chives. this child asked me for lettuce. and he ate it! and asked for more! that's when i knew something was up. this was not my son.

then the next day, at playgroup, mona offerd him some ravioli with spinach. and he said yes. and he ate them. and asked for more. that sealed it. wile? was no longer with us.

so, i just wanted to acknowledge your presence, say how nice it is to have you around.

now maybe you could work on getting the host body to walk up the stairs on its own? great, thanks.


edited to add: photographic proof!