wanted: part-time nanny.
must have extremely flexible hours, becuase i will really only need you a couple of days a month, and i'm not quite sure when those days are going to be.
how will i know when i need you? when all of the sudden, with no warning or reason, the fact that wile is putting his magnetic letters into his dump truck one by one at the pace of a turtle on valium is far far far too much for me to handle and i have to ask him in an eerily calm and quiet voice to hurry. up. please. and when he asks me "what cause hurry up?" all i can say is "becauseit'stimeforbednowputthoselettersinthattrucknow", and when we go upstairs to brush his teeth it's all i can do to not rip the toothpaste out of his hands when he tells me he needs to open it himself and then spends 30 seconds turning it in the wrong direction, and then the sound of the cap bouncing across the tile floor when it inevitably drops from his hand after he finally manages to get it off makes me want to take a large hammer to the tile, the cap, and possibly the entire bathroom.
so, yeah, when this happens, you would swoop in for a couple of days while i hide my head under a pillow and try to ignore the world and the things about it that irritate me, which is every single little thing.
perhaps we could set up a bat signal of some sort. in the shape of a giant tampon, maybe? that would go over well with the neighbors, i'm sure.
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this is the exact post i invision myself writing if (and probably when) we have kids. it is nice to read and know that i won't be alone. but the patience you usually demonstrate is awesome, and something that i hope is born in me with the birth of my potential offspring. it was great to see you last month.
-jessicabean
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