pillow talk

last night, one a.m.

on my way to bed, hear wile crying. give him five minutes, decide to go in.

w: mama....mama.....ba-boo? ba-boo?

m: no baby, it's time to sleep.

w: ba-boo?

m: lie down and go back to sleep.

w: ba-boo?

m: no ba-boo.

w: ba-boooooooooo

m: wile?

w: aye?

m: listen to me.

w: aye.

m: it's not time for ba-boo.

w: aye.

m: it's time to sleep.

w: aye.

m: okay?

w: aye.

m: i'll lie down with you, but you have to go to sleep.

w: aye.

m: okay. [lying down]

w: ba-boo?

m: okay, i'm going. [getting up and going]

w: maaaa-maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! [repeat at constant pitch (homicidal) and volume (turned up to 11) for about 5 minutes]

m: [going back in] wile.

w: mama yie down?

m: okay, but we're just going to sleep.

w: watey?

m: you want water?

w: aye.

m: okay. [go to bathroom, fill cup, return] here you go.

w: [guzzles water] done.

m: okay, let's go to sleep.

w: aye. [lies down. all seems well.]

just as i'm drifting off i hear

w: no big cup, mets cup

m: mmmm-hmmmm.....

w: no mets...no big....no big cup, mets cup!

m: mmmmmm

w: mama, det mets cup! mama—wile—mama—wile—wile mets cup watey!

m: [sitting up] wha?

w: [now crying at full force] mama det wile watey mets cup! no big cup!

m: no.

w: no big cup!

m: wile, i'm not getting you a different cup.

w: mama, nice, please, wile mets cup?

m: no.

w: wile cup!

m: wile, i'm not getting you a different cup. i'm going back to sleep. [lying down]

w: mama!

m: wile.

w: get...wile...get...mets...watey...

m: wile, it's time to sleep.

w: [thinks about it, heaves huge sigh, lies down] mama yie right dere.

m: i am, i'm lying right next to you.

w: no, mama yie right dere.

m: i'm right here, wile.

w: no, mama! mama yie right dere! [points at spot a half-inch from where i'm lying]

m: okay. [nudges over]

w: no, mama! mama yie right dere!" [points at spot a quarter-inch from where i'm now lying]

m: okay. [nudge, nudge]

w: no, mama! mama yie right dere!" [points at spot an eighth of an inch from where i'm now lying]

m: okay. [nudge, nudge]

w: no, mama! mama yie right dere!" [points at spot an eighth of an inch from where i'm now lying]

m: wile?

w: aye?

m: i'm right there. i am.

w: aye.

m: i'm going to sleep now.

w: aye.

silence for about two minutes........

w: mama!

m: huh! wha!

w: watey?

m: yeah. [get the much blasphemed big cup, hand to wile]

w: [guzzle] done. [hands back cup. lies down. falls asleep.]


really, it's not so different from a lot of conversations i've had in the middle of the night...in college...after a night out at the bar....