blogging fought the holidays and the holidays won

hope you all have a happy merry whatever it is that you have. see you in 06....

but honey, think of how boring life would be if you had married someone sane

last night:

"you left the light on in the basement earlier."

"the one that you have to go down and turn off with the pull cord?"

"yeah."

"oh, you'll have to go down and turn it off."

"what?"

"i'm not going down there."

"why not?"

"i can't go down there now."

"what do you mean?"

"haven't you noticed that i haven't been taking stuff down to the basement from the back room [the one that we're clearing out to have fixed up into a playroom for wile] in the evenings after wile goes to bed? it's because i can't go down into the basement at night."

"huh. i thought it was my fault that the back room wasn't getting cleared out."

"nope. i'd do it, but i can't do it at night."

"you know, the basement is dark during the day too. no windows."

"i know."

"so it's the same thing!"

"nope."

"it is."

"i'm not going down there."

i'm just not that into her, pt. 4

hi. hi there. sorry i've been so m.i.a.—between all the illness around these parts (stephen is the latest victim), trying to put together a winter playgroup, and the impending holiday season, i've been stretched a little thin. but i've got a good ellen story! i know you've been sitting there since the last ellen story thinking, "what will that kooky ellen do next?" oh, just you wait....

so susan still hadn't made a time to meet with ellen and get her stuff (that ellen was holding ransom). ellen has called her a bunch of time, but susan has sidestepped her as gracefully as possible. finally ellen calls her one monday and says that she is probably going to be in susan's neighborhood on the coming friday, and could they meet up? susan says okay, but to call her and let her know for sure beforehand with enough time so that she can work it into her day. she doesn't hear from ellen all week until....friday, when she gets a call from ellen saying "okay, i'm on my way downtown!" to which susan says "well, you didn't give me any warning, like we talked about, and i'm really busy at work and can't meet you." ellen, of course, says "you never said to call you before! i'm calling you now!" etc, etc. they have a little back and forth ("you said you'd call and let me know"/"no, i didn't!"—which, susan told me, she wouldn't have done with anyone else; with a sane, normal person she would have just said "okay, must have been a misunderstanding, let's try to work something out", but ellen just drives you to junior-high behavior), and finally susan tells ellen that she's just going to call a messenger to come and get the stuff. ellen agrees, and they hang up. susan calls the messenger.

a little while later, susan gets another call from ellen:

"hi, susan? hi, it's ellen. the messenger is here....but i just got out of the shower! i'm standing here in a towel!"

"oooo-kay..."

"i had no idea he was going to get here so quickly!"

"yeah, they move fast, those messengers...."

"well, listen, susan....i'm having second thoughts about this"

[bashing head against desk] "oh, really? why?"

"well.....i don't really believe that you're going to give me those photos!"

"ellen. i'm going to give you the photos."

"well...."

"...."

"well....i mean, i'm standing here in my towel...."

"uh-huh...."

"well, i guess i can give him the stuff if you give me your word that you're going to give me the photos."

"okay."

"you give me your word?"

"yes, ellen, i give you my word"

"well....."

"..."

"well, okay then....if you give me your word."

"okay, bye."



word.